What’s Wrong With Capitalism?
No messing about with this article. We all know what it is, let’s get straight into it.
- No gf
If capitalism is so great and supply will always meet demand, then I demand a gf. Where is the supply?
A lot of these old conservative fellows that happen to have a beautiful blonde housewife wearing an apron and baking cookies will tell you that the free market will regulate itself. They’ll say that if you want a gf, all you have to do is wish really hard for it and the invisible hand of the free market will pluck one out of whichever country you think has the hottest girls and into your house. But that’s just not the way the world works, a lot of working class people such as myself have to make do with no girls, whereas the elite like Jeff Bezos can’t move for the amount of hotties after their billions of dollars and increasingly protruding eyes.
2. Hard work pays off
The American dream. The big ladder that goes all the way to the top of the world and beyond. In our civilised capitalist society, any man (or woman (but probably man)) can reach the top of the slippery slope with enough grit. This world is survival of the fittest and no one’s roiding. There is one subset of individuals that are left out in this respect, and that’s the people who just don’t feel like working, god bless ’em. If the only way to get a high-paid job and a lot of power is to “work hard” then that puts me in a bit of an awkward situation because I would like to be very rich and not work at all. I think a major adjustment that capitalism could use to appeal to the younger generation is “If you work hard, you can have everything. But if you just want to relax and have a slice of toast then that’s alright too and you can still have everything.”
3. A lot of shit TV shows and movies
Look, I get it’s only happening because it’s what the people want to see, but people are wrong and they wanna see shit. There a too many films coming out these days that are all exactly the same stuff about superheroes and whatnot. I don’t want to deprive anyone of this, so I think that the ideal system we should use should be to have no one make any money off any creative endeavour. If they really want to be creative, they can be homeless and if they just want the money, they can just have some from their inevitably rich parents and leave the art to the artists. This way you’d get a lot more films that were unwatchably shit made with zero budget and it would be a lot more interesting. And if people still want to watch superhero films, we can tell them that there is a new one out every month and send them along to the cinema with their popcorn and their jumbo cola and just put on Iron Man 1, I think that has the same broad strokes as all of the others so they won’t notice that it’s not a different film. Problem solved.
So, in conclusion, I haven’t read this article back to check, but, if I recall, the three problems with capitalism are: no gf, rich people don’t got no drip, and that women only like bad boys and rappers.
